 Collin and Amanda say hello - with jazz hands! |
 A couple idiot joggers are out, jogging like idiots. |
 Amanda prepares for fascinating impromptu performance she will... perform. |
 Here I am, from my view, standing in the snow beneath my boots on my feet. |
 Amanda goes off in search of the perfect cartwheel snow. |
 Still searching, still searching... it has to be just right. |
 Ah, there it is! Over there! |
 Cartwheel #1 - legs in the air and everything. Excellent. |
 Cartwheel #2 - marginally different from the first. |
 Launching into Cartwheel #3. Okay, no more pictures of this. |
 I practice my own Great Wintral Stance. |
 Collin practices flying with the help of a large golfball. |
 Aww, Amanda's a little too big to play on this structure... |
 ...but we're going to do it anyway! Yay! |
 Mmm, one of the many landscapes I love in winter. |
 We mount the strange hanging swing/poles and climb into the equipment. |
 They made it! They made it to the catwalk! Hurrah! |
 The formidable catwalk itself, where many brave elementary school kids have gone before. |
 Here I come climbing through some static-prone PVC tubing. |
 Gravity soon loses all meaning and I sink into psychopathy. |
 This is almost a Christmas card, n'est pas? |
 Oh yes, the insanity takes full hold before I escape. |
 Collin manages to lodge himself awkwardly in a tiny rung ladder. |
 After a sound spanking, Amanda helps him out. |
 We discover some curious hieroglyphs underneath one of the static-prone PVC slides: some human handprints with instructions in them, and then a bear's pawprint. |
 The bear's pawprint has very specific instructions. We still don't get the point of all this... |
 Amanda starts to climb the sheer PVC cliff face on one side of the playground structure. |
 She does a very convincing Sylvester Stallone. |
 I cling for my life to the overhead bars, until I realize I have more than enough room to stand. |
 Having had way, way too much fun today, we slowly trudge our way back home... but realize we are completely, perilously lost in the broad steppes of identical townhomes. Panic sets in. |
 Trudge, trudge, trudge, that's what we do.Trudge, trudge, trudge; how 'bout you? |
 We find a grassy oasis in the snow. I fill up my camels and we continue. |
 We find some animal prints in the snow and Amanda tastes them: coyotes always walk towards home, moose always walk away from home. |
 Well into the 22nd minute of our outdoor disaster we decide to forage for sustenance. Amanda searches for roots, nuts, and berries. |
 We discover a plentiful bush of mailboxes, but Collin determines they are near-inedible. The party begins to lose faith in God. |
 Weak with hunger and delirious with panic, I can scarce believe my eyes: we have rediscovered our cars! Civilization! Life! |
 Alas, it is too late: Collin, curled beneath a tree for warmth, dies of hypothermia. The irony is too much to bear. |
 We have no choice but to eat him. |