It's high time I tended to this issue, isn't it? I didn't want to touch it for a while, just reserve a spot for it, because it's such a big deal to me. But I didn't realize anyone was actually waiting to hear about this one.

To me, boots represent strength, preparedness, a degree of authority, and integrity. A good pair of boots represents someone who is tough and active, someone who's not lazy. Hiking boots are for stepping off the sidewalks and paved areas, scaling the hillsides and mountains. Construction boots are armor for the feet, shielding against grease, oil, acid, heavy objects, etc. Tanker boots, combat boots, jungle boots, they all have their own specific functions and purposes. They're for active, willful, domineering individuals and teams. Boots don't need to throw their weight around, but neither do they fuck around. Boots mean business.

That's part of why it so discourages me to see these fancy, superficial boots with chunky platform soles and unnecessary straps, made out of flimsy materials. They won't protect against the cold! They won't protect against falling objects! You can't fight or even run in them! This is the failing of fashion victims: footgear should never impede or cause injury to the wearer! To design a boot that does this is to negate and deny the very function of the boot in the first place!

However, just as some people are only good for fucking, so it goes with boots. But that would place those boots' function specifically in the bedroom (and, therefore, the club since people basically go there to fuck in public anyway, lacking propriety and decorum), and I could even probably appreciate them in that context. It's never come up.