The Cast of KFG

Now that he's all grown-up, 433 refuses to ever eat any vegetables ever, at all, ever. Meat, meat, meat, that's for him! Meat stuffed with meat! Meat wrapped around meat! And if he has to use some bread or a bun to carry the meat to his mouth, well, there but for the grace of the angels...

Abby has shown up at a couple key junctures. SHe's good people, so we'll list her here. Though I'm not sure if she eats meat or what. I'm pretty sure she's vegetarian. Throw some meat at her just to be sure, when next you see her.

Allison brings a new zest to the grilling experience, introducing all sorts of Chinese cuisine to the cooking palette. She is one of the newer participants but nonetheless fanatically loyal.

Ash doesn't show up so very much. He has a couple times, and he has tried to show up more often, so hopefully this is a rising trend. He does really interesting things with hamburgers. That is, he cooks interesting things. I don't know what he does with with hamburgers behind closed doors... oh, no...

There is always room to specialize in new aspects of the cooking experience, and Ashley finds her niche in researching and identifying special beers for any occasion. We're proud to have her with us!

Bexley is a hardcore carnivore and rarely brings anything that is not a lot of meat. His previous recipies have included beef curry vindaloo skewers (personal recipe), sides of beef and pork, and grilling an entire turkey, stuffed with White Castle hamburgers. His appetite for meet is matched only by his alacrity for preparing it.

After one KFG, Christel believes that it will now become her Friday night thing (as it has for so many of us). With a fondness for misnaming and playing with sharp objects, her nascent grilling-fu has yet to manifest, though she makes up for it by showing up on an abusively loud motorcycle.

Courtney is the youngest member (a fact that will come up in every conversation with her) of the extended KFG family - and is actually Ashley's sister and Erika's niece - but this in no way negatively correlates to her alacrity for the grilling experience. She loves meat, and she loves hot spices, and she loves more of both. Stay out of her way because she also tends to love violence. And she was that way before she came to grilling!

Having abstained from meat for a long time, Demi has received a medical recommendation to start eating carcass, and that's what KFG is here for. She also makes very creative and delicious vegetarian dinners!

Erika rounds out the evening with a supply of snacks and drinks or a dinner of grilling treats that must be shared, like varieties of marinated shrimp. Generous and thoughtful, she has provided this socially-conducive epicurean foundation for many months and rarely misses a grilling if she can help it.

Hedge attends whenever she's in town; otherwise she goes to school out east. We're not sure what she eats - she may be omni, she may be veg*n, she may even photosynthesize - all we know is that she likes to beat up 433 for a cheap laugh.

Which isn't to say we don't laugh.

Heidi was a latter-day regular of the vegetarian kitchen style. She wasn't one for the movies but she liked seeing everyone come over and was a strong social component. Currently she resides in Toronto. To date it is unknown whether Canadians recognize grilling; we know they must have fire, since it's so freakin' cold up there, but as charcoal was invented by Americans, they may yet hold an imperialist grudge against the process.

Once a meat-eater but now seen the dark, Jarrin is exploring healthful options that do not involve the demise of sentient creatures for his personal embetterment. As he is the quintessential irrepressible funster, we're still waiting for the punchline on this one.

Jeff's a newcomer to the KFG phenomenon. He's good conversation. He likes to eat. He wears black. Based on that you'd think he was one of the founding fathers or something.

None can defeat jodi's Seven Pretty Plates Stance! With a rock-steady methodology that incorporates considerable culinary knowledge, exquisite seasoning combinations, and delectable presentation, jodi is more than prepared to blow any young guns out of the water with her nonchalant prowess. She also features the ability to hide in trees while wearing a bright red shirt and scaring the piss out of unsuspecting grilling attendees below.

Martin drops by when he remembers. Vegetarian with piscevorous dispensation, he's one of the few non-dedicated-meat-eaters to show up on a regular basis. Usually he's fine with using a meat-stained grill as his meals are wrapped in foil (innovation!), though he can throw the odd slab of salmon steak on the cooking grid as well. He has nothing but disparaging commentary for XN's perfectly functional rice cooker.

When asked what his predominant cooking style is, Mike will tell you "au gratin". Then he'll look at you for a moment to see whether you believe him. Then he'll stare at you because you don't believe him. He'll insist once and you have your final answer: Mike grills au gratin, let no one question it.

An hardcore carniphile, KFG member in absentia Molly brought her own crew to KFG from her end of the Twin Cities, as if her ebullient, strident charm weren't enough. Sadly she's retreated to Chicago for some ungodly reason, something about Mpls. sucking so bad, but we still think of her fondly every time we burn ourselves on something way, way too hot for its own good.

Nicole is another of the third-generation vanguard, a prominent figure among the next wave of inner-city mid-winter future grilling leaders of America. Claiming the unique and yet universal grilling specialty of "bugs"... we... will probably give her her own grill, but gladly welcome her among our number. She's so cute, after all, and blindingly intelligent. Blindingly!

Rarely without Ashley comes this underspoken Tae Kwon Do practitioner. Ryan dances a complicated step between vegetarianism and all-out animalphagy. He has requested that XN take him on as paduwaan, and so XN will show him the Way of the Grill.

Sasha serves to strengthen the vegetarian contingent - though we carnivores are far from beat - and likes to spend time in the kitchen composing elaborate non-meat dishes with rice and mock duck and everything else.

Troy, like a few others, takes his grilling very seriously. Either he has something elaborate and memorable planned, or he just hangs out and drinks. He is known for his "skewered angels" dessert (very delicious!) and forays with marinated/seasoned shrimp, and enjoys obtaining obscure and shocking Asian cinema to share with the class, as strong as the wasabi powder he mixes fresh in the kitchen for every other dish.

Ursula is the omnivore's omnivore: sure, she works hard at finding interesting new vegetarian dishes, to the point where even inveterate carnivores are kind of curious, but she also won't say no to a nice cut of beef with proper seasonings. Quiet and retiring, you won't notice her at KFG... until it's too late.

XN started cooking because he wanted to know how to light charcoal. He bought a copy of The Complete Idiot's Guide to Grilling and, despite the derisive title, studied it fairly intently. What with a shower of similar cooking/recipe books from friends, XN has studied different cuisine and the physics of cooking; coupled with practical experience (he's been cooking in sun, night, rain, snow, high winds, etc. at home and away for two years now) he has a fairly sound working knowledge of grilling and enjoys making his food hot this way.