AmandaMaybe this is asking for trouble, but I thought I'd give this another shot.
This is a group of my friends - by no means complete and ordered alphabetically so as to remove any sense of priority or favoritism - and I'm just going to post these pictures here and rattle off a few thoughts that each conjures.
If you're my friend (or think you are) and your picture's not up here, that's simply 'cos I don't have a picture of you. If you want to be listed, gimme a freakin' picture and I'll write something up... or, hey, you can. You can tell the world how you're my best friend and anything worthwhile in my life hinges upon your influence. That'll be more interesting than anything I could come up with, I think.
Updated: 15AUG05!
Amanda
Amanda's my little sister, about 10 years younger than me, and 3rd oldest among us siblings. She's been my partner in crime pretty much from day one. I counseled her during elementary school and through the divorce, I wrote letters with her while she went to camp and I went to the Army, I took her to the mall and to 1st Ave to see They Might Be Giants, she bought me tickets to see TMBG at the Orpheum, back and forth like that all our lives. We're among each other's favorite people, with the ability to sting each other with unparalleled depth and viciousness, as well as the unique ability to bring each other back up in our worst moments. She gave me the honor of giving her away at her wedding to Collin, which I was more than happy to do. I love my sister.
Andrew
Andrew's my young brother, 2nd oldest in our group. As a child he was naive, not clever, and friendly as a penguin - we love to tell stories about him at family occasions because they're so colorful and frequently bizarre. We laugh, but we adore having this goof in our lives, that makes us happier than anything else. And I think not much has changed from childhood: he's pursuing his bliss, tripping around the country in pursuit of his artwork, as all of us fret for his future security and his personal safety, while secretly wondering if he's onto something and we should be pursuing our own dreams with as much abandon.
Collin
Collin is my brother-in-law! How trippy is that? I'd hung out with him while he was dating my sister and he was very laid-back and well-grounded (an excellent counterbalance for Amanda) with a dry, keen sense of humor that I appreciated. And now he's family! My family. That's so weird. Well, obviously that's never happened to me before. But we definitely benefitted from this deal, he's a great person, and now I'm related to him. How weird.
Mom
Strangest damn thing: I can't see her. I can't see her outside of my lifelong impression of her, she hasn't changed in my eyes since childhood. I can't step back and objectively view her, I just see the same intense, scholarly, flighty, emotionally effervescent woman I've seen all my life. I know her about as well as I know myself, having interacted with her and conferred with the siblings. I couldn't call her Diane or anything else, I'll always have this unwavering closeness that will always have her as "mom" in my mind, no matter what. She's grown and changed over the hears, so have I, but I think we've gotten along better than many family members do, more like friends do. In addition to that family stuff, I mean. I'm impressed with her, I'm defensive of her, and I love her to death.
Rob
Rob's my youngest brother, but you wouldn't know it by looking at this "side of Norwegian beef", as I call him. He's the white sheep in a family of black sheep, we don't know how that happened. Sometimes he'd veer over here, getting into video games; veer over there, listening to certain music; but then he'd go right back to Boy Scouts or carpentry. He has his own path to follow, just as we all do. He's the backbone of the family, pulling everyone together for a dinner, moderating the conversation so we can all get along. He's silent and thoughtful, only occasionally hinting at the deep and long thought processes he mostly keeps to himself.
Alexis
Alexis is a difficult one to pin: you can form a theory about her one week, and the next week it's completely inapplicable. At the same time she does seem to categorize her friends by function, like a cat identifies which human is most likely to open the can containing its food. I'm Alexis' humor-friend, then, in that she is supremely susceptible to my Crippling Laughter Stance. Around her, I have a supernatural ability to induce debilitating laughter. Also, sometimes we have frank and candid discussions of a lurid nature - she considers me a font of research material she's unlikely to find elsewhere. For my part, without wishing to pigeonhole her too severely, I think she's pretty cool.
Carlen
Carlen is one of my newest friends; she found me through a nebulous string of online channels and decided to write to me just to say she liked my writing. That casual comment quickly blossomed into a very heated friendship. Our initial and subsequent conversations were/are sprinkled with very strange and personal coincidence, anything from liking the same bands to her going to college in the same town I was born in. We really dig each other and have kept each other company through some dark times and it's pretty clear we were meant to be friends. And I don't think I've even known her for a month...
Christel
Like a few other people on here, I met Christel during my time up in St. Cloud, MN. She has an outrageous and hilarious sense of humor that frequently cripples me. She's highly intelligent and, perhaps because of that, somewhat depressed, a lot like me. That's something to bond over in many cases and we did, though mostly we focus on jokes but occasionally delve into serious issues. Currently she is dating Troy (see also)
Deb
Deb has been a friend of mine for a long time, way back in the salad days of the Internet, back when it was possible to meet interesting people just anywhere, they hadn't been all chased away into seclusion or abandoning the Wired completely. We met on one of the Telnet's "talkers" and were immediately fascinated with each other. She had a punkish badass-ness to her and loved getting into fights with lesser people; she liked the way I'd burst into the main room and immediately launch into some huge rambling story about my day. That was way back when I was fascinated with every little thing that went on in my life. Now she's moved to England and then back to Canada, bringing a husband back with her, and we're kinda sorta in touch but not completely out of touch either.
Ericka
...Wow, okay, so a lot of these pictures are going to be of people I don't speak regularly with, I guess. That doesn't mean I like them any less - Ericka is like that. We've only ever been online friends though it's actually no great feat to run out and visit her, and I'm kindasorta planning a roadtrip with another friend who went to school with this legendary creature and wouldn't mind going back for a visit. That would be fun. Ericka played upon some of the darker recesses of my imagination, going a little crazy with me and letting me feel more comfortable with my frayed edges, rather than needing to be completely composed and staid all the time. I really need to get back in touch with her.
Update: I did get in touch with her! I'd not written for so long that the onus of writing began to seem terribly huge so I postponed it, but finally I bit the bullet and wrote her, and she told me she was going through the same thing with me! So now we're back in touch and Martin (see also) and I are loosely planning a roadtrip out to see her. So I'm not completely ineffectual!
Erin/"Petey"
Erin was also another friend from my "talker" days and has more or less survived my transition from Telnet to email. Again, I'm not frequently in touch with her but once in a while we shoot each other a line.
Heidi/"Hippolyta"
This is my friend Heidi. We dated briefly while she remained in Minneapolis, but before that she'd made plans to open a new travel agency office in Toronto and moved up there just after Thanksgiving '02. So it goes. Outside of that she's an interesting and eclectic individual who forms solid opinions and feels emotions very strongly. She didn't grow up with the stifling "Minnesota nice" ethic of passive-aggression, so when she doesn't like traffic, she'll bitch about it right then and there. That's invaluable to me, as nearly everyone else I know likes to make me feel like a freak for getting too wrapped up in my emotions. She's into Wonder Woman, grrl bands, dressing for functionality and not to advertise fashion industries for free (that's a big issue with me), and she works out and wears boots.
However, it's hard for me to really associate with her anymore because I fell really, really hard for her, like I said I wouldn't for anyone again, and now she has her own life. It didn't work out for us. I feel terrible but I don't know how to handle this besides alienating her.
Ivan
I have always considered Ivan a good friend even though we've been incommunicado for the past several years. I searched for him online but he's untraceable; fortunately he fuond me and now we shoot notes back and forth! Once we get past the awkward "getting to know you again" stage it'll be interesting to see how we've changed - it's very interesting when an old friendship, preserved in amber for years, suddenly starts up again and you have to reconcile between everything you knew and everything that exists now. I should clarify from my previous entry about him: he never condescended to me or anything, I just wanted to express that he'd burned through to the goal of his studies while I was apprehending myself, I was only self-conscious that I wasn't his intellectual peer in conversation. He has always been thoughtful and considerate. I think I'd be a better person today if our friendship hadn't been arrested in St. Cloud, but I yam what I yam and that's all what I yam. Still! I'm interested to see who this person is now!
Jarrin/"dea3per", "Klaxon Mindjammer"
Jarrin's been a friend of mine for several years. Time is important to me, since I've never been in one area for very long. He started up Ed's Room shortly before I discovered Telix and learned how to dial into such BBSs. Later I had the fortune to work with him and other subcultural luminaries of the Minneapolis scene in the Eye Scream Thrillogy (well, the last two, anyway). Then he invited me to try out with his band, and I became lead vocals and then lyricist for Psychopop. ANYWAY, Jarrin's a friend because he possesses one trait I value above all others: a sense of humor. And, yeah, respect/honor/consideration/etc., those are all lumped into 2nd place, but humor is the most important thing to me. Jarrin has a great sense of humor, sees the joke in everything, and nothing is too sacred to be mocked or parodied. He also has an outstanding personal philosophy - "How does this affect me, really?" - that merits emulation. Go, Jarrin.
Jason
I met Jason through Jennifer (see below), she was in a relationship with him when she moved back up from Chicago. They've sinced moved out to Reno, NV, where they're single-handedly revitalizing the music scene whether that insular valley community likes it or not. Jason's very cool (Jen wouldn't settle for anything less), with clear perspective, conviction, and a bracing groundedness to his personality that makes him very comfortable to be around. He's also a hideously talented musician, I'm a big fan of his work, and moreover I use him as a singularity of inspiration to get off my own ass and do something interesting with my life.
Jennifer
Jennifer is a very cool friend of mine. I met her a long time ago when I started going out to the clubs. I don't remember who introduced us, but what she liked about me was that I refused to chat about small talk. Pithy little observations about things going on around us at that moment, that bullshit is a waste of effort as I scream above the decibels. Later she would try to teach me how to be completely honest with and good to myself, and when I have a problem with somebody I should walk right up and address it on the spot. Funnily enough, the only person I was able to do this with was her, but she knew what I was doing and respected and rewarded me for it. I know that very few other people would have the perspective and integrity to appreciate that. And then she moved to Chicago because Minneapolis is dead, and then recently she moved back up to Mpls. because Chicago is one big asshole. But Minneapolis is still dead so she's going to move back to Chicago once her lease runs out.
Jeremy/"433"
I've known Jeremy for a long time. He always struck me as very alive and funny, his exuberance and flamboyance matched only by his youthful idealism. He likes toys, he's an actualized geek, he has a tremendous DVD collection... he's very much about creature pursuits and doesn't care about making an impression. He also has strange little peccadilloes like a voracious interest in politics and a consuming need to be inundated with news and information at all times. Regardless, he's okay.
We ran into problems when I started dating his recent ex, Heidi. He didn't have a coping mechanism to reconcile with that; on the other hand, friends don't do that to friends, do they. Many several shitstorms later, both between us and spurred on by people in our environment, we're more or less at a dull simmer. Sometimes online we snipe at each other, but whenever I hang out with him I end up having a good time because he's fucking hilarious and creative and clever. He's passionate about his interests and he entertains a broad panoply of them. He's a good person to associate with.
jodi
Say what one will about Ed's Room, it does have some useful and interesting things to offer. I wouldn't have met jodi through any other channel, probably, if not for the BBS community. Urbane and witty online, she's a dynamic creative force to be reckoned with in real life. She has three ungodly collections: an ungodly vinyl LP collection, an ungodly boardgame collection; and an ungodly book collection. Her lunchbox collection is merely nigh-ungodly. She's unabashed! She's a ferocious creative talent! She's easily one of the most hyperintelligent and hilarious friends in my acquaintance, and I'm privileged to hold any position in her esteem. She's genuinely Funny, which is probably the most important thing to me in my entire list of priorities.
Joel/"deadsy"
Joel and I met through conflict. We were both on the Darklist, an e-list for the local darksiders of the Twin Cities, and I irritated him. Not directly, just by me being me, we rubbed each other the wrong way. We'd get into arguments and I'd ignore everything he said and respond to everyone else, prompting him to write directly to me: "You bug me," was the first line. Then we hung out at someone else's garage sale and we actually got along. He's very laid-back so it's hard for me to read his reactions but I think he regards me benignly. We have an inspecific date to hang out at a Latin club and have cigars and rum with a third party. It's all very vague and indefinite, but it's going to be really fucking cool when it happens.
Karen
I think I also met Karen through the Darklist e-list community, but I may have met her through the BBS community as well. We have so many mutual friends, we were bound to encounter each other. We have an interesting dynamic: she thinks I'm too smart to be interested in her, and I think she's too badass to want to have anything to do with me. Somehow we're still friends, though, and I'm excited about that. Besides being a talented photographer, she lives within an entire genre of life that's always fascinated me and I've never had a chance to play upon it, so perhaps under her guidance I can slowly broaden my horizons and become a more interesting person.
Also, she's an incredible sweetheart. I would be remiss in my duties if I failed to assert what a sweetheart she is, indeed. Very very sweet, very very heart.
Kate
Kate's a friend of mine from way-back-when. We went to high school together and she was one of the few people I cared to stay in touch with afterwards. She responded affirmatively to my shy entreaty to be penpals with me when I left for the Army; I would describe what we did all day and draw pictures of our activities, while she attended school at the U of MN during its coolest era ever. She also helped me through stages of my then-undiagnosed depression (through tough love, mainly). When I came back to the States we got in touch occasionally, hung out once in a while. Now it's been 14 years and our paths run a wide berth around each other and then collide: I'd just gotten off the bus from the airport after visiting my grandfather, and I ran into Kate as she was running to a Twins game. How bizarre, huh? We don't really stay in touch, but we never completely separate either.
Katrina
Maybe three years ago Katrina and I wrote each other over email. We might have known each other from Diaryland, but I can't even remember. It was a short-lived experience because I can only barely recall her email handle; as near as she can figure out, one of us stopped writing and the other never bothered to pick it back up again.
So, out of the blue she writes me again, using much the same strategy that I do: I go through my address book when I'm bored or lonely, write to a shitload of addresses of people I used to know, and see who writes back. Except no one ever does this for me - I'm usually let go and forgotten. So I logon one day and find this forlorn little email asking if she remembers writing me at all, apologizing for letting it drop, asking if there's any interest in writing again and almost rescinding the offer in the same breath. I wrote back, she wrote back, we struck up a conversation and now I'm so fascinated with her I have no idea why I let her go in the first place. She's an endlessly charming and literate friend who lives in the English countryside, and this time I won't let her fade to black so easily.
Kelly
Really cool friend of mine in long-standing, a friend from way back when. You know, back in the day, dog. Back before there even was an Internet. Oh, don't get me wrong, our friendship has been entirely online, but it feels like I've been chatting with her for years. Actually she was a formative part of my identity construction, when I'd just got out of the military and had just lain down the foundation for my personality. She was a very important contributing factor that set me off in the right direction. Well, "right" as I wanted it to be. Not like she was instructing me in the ways of the Roman Catholic church or anything, that's not what I was after. She helped me understand more about other people and she always kept me on my toes, questioning myself. That's different than doubting myself. Anyway, she's extremely cool and I think she gets sick of me more often than she admits. She seems diffident and standoffish, but actually she's very generous and affectionate in her own way.
Kristen
Kristen! Kristen has been with me through the bulk of my Telnet years (I'm thinking I should draw a map or timeline of my various online eras), we were fast and wild friends like a hydrogen molecule, many people feared and yet adored us. We also modified each other's lives in significant ways. Then there was a huge blowout and an Aries and a Scorpio aren't usually willing to break down and make up when the emotions run so strong, so we just didn't talk for a few years. A long time. But evidently we still held some fondness and admiration for each other because one day she slipped me a note and suddenly we were back in stride, and that's where we are now. She's married and has a kid, and is doing these in the coolest way possible.
Lame
LAME: adj. 1. What you'll be if you give me any crap about "oh, you love so-and-so more than me" or "hey, I'm not on this list at all" or "you never write, you never call; the rabbit died" or "Is Christine there? This is American Collection Agency, Christine..." Sick of that. I'm just not going to respond to it anymore, particularly that last one.
2. Most of what comes out of Hollywood or can be seen on network television.
Martin
What's funny about Martin is that his arrival in Minnesota was actually announced to me long before I ever met him. He went to college with Ericka (see also), and she said that her friend Martin was coming out to Mpls. and he was really cool and had such a very specific sense of humor that pretty much guaranteed we'd run into each other. I tried not to be insulted at her gross underestimation of the Mpls. population, but evidently she has an adequate grasp of our scene because very soon Martin and I gravitated toward each other like pennies in the centripedal funnel at the Science Museum. Through thick and thin we've been friends, whether it's entertaining a morbid, self-defeatist curiosity on the BDSM floor entirely populated by obese old fucks at a sci-fi convention, or setting up artificial scenarios to make curly red-haired snobbish bitches feel bad about what fucking creeps they are. Or she is. Just one. But Martin's hilarious! I can never go too subtle for him to plumb the depth of my punchline, and that's magnificent. He's much, much smarter and better educated than myself, so I don't get why he bothers with me, but whatever. He's extremely cool and I enjoy hanging out with him very much.
Matt
I met Matt a long time ago at RenFest; my mom met him shortly thereafter at her place of work. She used to tell me about this great guy I'd get along with, mutual interests and all that, so it was a pleasant surprise to realize I already knew him. Matt is very much the romantic spirit, passionate for swords, martial arts, literature, haute cuisine, world travel, etc. Sound like a catch? He's taken: he married Sharon (see also) a couple years ago and, believe me, there were plenty of people on both sides who felt a little robbed, but these two belong together and everybody knows it. Matt is absolutely a good and loyal friend, intelligent company, and a sincerely good time to be around.
Melanie
Melanie was a really cool cat I had the privilege of getting to know for a brief time. She was a friend-of-a-friend and lives in another state, so it was one of those things where you have to voraciously pursue the friendship or you just lose contact and never get it back. I went the latter path, and have a few fragments of memories of our time together to mull over and torture myself with. I wouldn't even know how to begin finding her again, I don't think I have her last name written down anywhere, and I'm sure any addresses I might possibly have for her are long since expired. Man, I hate this.
Molly
Molly's a unique case. I guess I was aware of her on the BBSs nearly a decade ago but we never chatted. I think I remember some vague curoisity about her but I certainly wasn't ready to hang out with her. Of course, she was much younger too and had a protective mom so that point was moot. Then, many years later, she resurfaces abruptly on one of the web-based adaptations of BBSs and makes a grand appearance, and a few people remembered her. I was given photos and historical archives of conversations in which she defended the Minneapolis circuit of BBSs from more asinine, trouble-seeking extra-state communities. Cunning and hilarious, I was immediately impressed with her and wanted to impress her in turn, so I made sure to shine my best whenever I thought she might be watching... reading, anyway, in the text-based online forum. So eventually we became friends and hung out, and have had a few fallings-out due to misunderstandings, but somehow I've managed to stay on her good side for the most part. Then came the fall of the Roman Empire around here, and as the scene cracked apart her particular fragment flew down to Illinois. It's for the best, I'm sure, but I miss her. I don't think anyone could make me laugh as readily and as hard as she could - but then, she was a trained professional. What're ya gonna do.
Myfanwy / "Zebtronica"
Another really new, really cool friend of mine. Hailing from Toronto, she's an artist (who resists all my attempts to classify her work) who's recently been held up by the Reform Party as an example of flagrant Liberal misspent public funding. Hey, she applied for the grant fair and square; when the Emergency Room redefines itself as a performance art gallery, it too can apply for those grants. Zebby is like a female Thomas Dolby (an allusion that was, sadly, almost entirely lost upon her). She stays up late with me sometimes and befuddles me with technical speak and "why don't you get it" didactic in re artwork and stuff. I just don't get it, and it's totally her realm, so she's trying to lead me by the hand through it but really the True Art is that which pushes you off the chair you're standing on in the dark. Fortunately, we have other redeeming conversations that don't cause as much pain.
Nina Hagen
She's my girlfriend. She just doesn't know it. I'd explain it to her but it sounds like she's wacked out on hallucinogens and speed all the fucking time, so... yeah, it's a sad relationship, but I'll stick by her side. I mean, have you heard "Born in Xixax"? Need I say more?
Rhonda
Rhonda's been an online friend of mine for a long time. I adore her to pieces - she came out and visited me a few years ago, and I flew out to visit her a few years ago minus one, and... then we kinda wrote for a while after that, and then... I stopped hearing from her. Not sure what that's about. I still hurl emails at her in the hopes of getting a response, but... we'll see.
Well! I did hear from her eventually, in a mass-email announcing her impending marriage. Dunt-dunt-dunt: another one bites the dust... Oh well, I have an excellent, rose-tinted history with her that nothing can take away, I should just be grateful for that.
Rozz
I have a lot of Canadian friends, actually, and Rozz is one of these. She visited me a few years ago, way back when I was still flyering for the now-defunct VisionShift, and she was in town to see some kind of concert. We hung out on the Talkers before that, causing trouble in the online community as much as two people can, which is pretty easy since they're mostly emotionally fragile and come there for validation. Then she dropped out of touch because she was fleeing an abusive drunk roommate, and I heard from her again once she got settled down. But now, like with other friends, I just shoot emails at her and none of them seem to hit. A note would be nice, some kind of message. Being Canadian, she's notoriously hard to find, you really have to wait for a Canuck to contact you. You can't force it, no matter how badly you want it. Which sucks ass.
Sasha
Sasha and I had a rocky start, initially. She was dating someone who was perhaps a negative influence on her, so conversation didn't readily flow for us: she thought I was hitting on her. Eventually she dumped the guy and got her life back and we became better friends. And then one day I had to abandon the house I was living in and she told me of an availability in the building where she lived, so now I'm her neighbor. We've been in many adventures together, such as being tailed home by a troublesome man in a sedan, or me getting punched in the face by a crotch-rocketeer and her calling the cops and getting a soda to cool my injury. She's been a generous friend to me and I continue to enjoy her company.
Sharon
Wonderful Sharon! Okay, yes, we met out at RenFest, and that capped off a brief, tempestuous identity-defining relationship that I also fucked up out of ignorance, BUT. Sharon has a lot of really positive influence attributed to her, too. For one, she's a fucking excellent roadtrip companion, as evinced by our late-winterly flight to Chicago last April (2002) to see the Siouxsie and the Banshees reunion tour. Eminently worth it, despite my family's vehement protestations! Sharon's one of my favorite people in the world, just by the nature of how we relate to each other; she pushes me to evolve and usually I'm not ready for it, and then when I am ready for it she's all reticent and unwilling out of lightly hurt feelings... but that's what we have in common: very strong, very heated emotional dynamic. There's got to be a way to channel that for the forces of good. Oh well, the point is moot as she went and got married and stuff. Fuck, I'm entering that era of my life where my friends are getting married. Christ.
Troy
I first met Troy up in St. Cloud, MN, through our mutual friend Heather. Troy and I didn't like each other at first, mainly because of our respective poses, but eventually we found good conversation in each other, an appreciation for the higher qualities in human spirit, and a love of good food and beer. Now he's down in Mpls. and we hang out occasionally - he's dating Christel (see also), and used to regularly attend KFG when that was still in operation. He is very clearly a cultured gentleman with a kind spirit, as well as a scholar.
Ursula
Ursula and I have a long history together. We met through a mutual friend and then started dating for about a year and a half. I failed her in that regard and we broke up with lingering hard feelings. But we also grew from the experience and came around to be decent friends again. She's a sweetheart with a soft spot in my heart, and I hope I can be a good enough friend for her. Recently she moved out to Portland, OR, so it'll have to be a long-distance friendship for now.
Waku Waku!
I don't know what this means, I just think it's cute.
You'd be surprised how much manga and even porn (hentai and otherwise) in Japan revolves around cute girls in bunny ears.
"worm" / Jason
worm's been an acquaintance and friend for many years, after meeting through the dial-up BBSs of times past. We get along much better now than we have historically, too. He's very logical (or wants to be) and educated, so I gain a lot from our conversations. He seems to like my sense of humor most of the time, though sometimes I get the feeling he's watching a car accident.
Myfanwy/"Zebtronica"
Another really new, really cool friend of mine. Hailing from Toronto, she's an artist (who resists all my attempts to classify her work) who's recently been held up by the Reform Party as an example of flagrant Liberal misspent public funding. Hey, she applied for the grant fair and square; when the Emergency Room redefines itself as a performance art gallery, it too can apply for those grants. Zebby is like a female Thomas Dolby (an allusion that was, sadly, almost entirely lost upon her). She stays up late with me sometimes and befuddles me with technical speak and "why don't you get it" didactic in re artwork and stuff. I just don't get it, and it's totally her realm, so she's trying to lead me by the hand through it but really the True Art is that which pushes you off the chair you're standing on in the dark. Fortunately, we have other redeeming conversations that don't cause as much pain.
And now... video clips! (AVI format, each under 1MB)
You might be better off right-clicking and selecting "Save Target As...", downloading them onto your desktop.
More to follow...